The thing with the Internet is that it’s big. Really big. It doesn’t actually, tangibly exist and can therefore expand indefinitely into nothingness, much like the Universe itself. Because that makes sense. Because science.
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| The Internet. It definitely makes sense. |
And because it’s so big there’s a lot of stuff. And because there’s a lot of stuff nothing is particularly original or – usually – interesting. These are lessons that I’ve learnt since magic-ing up my own previously ethereal slice of wi-fi pie. But you must have an identity and a brand. All of the other websites whose identities and brands are to tell you you need an identity and a brand say so. And so, because I’m a lifelong techie nerd whose primary passions are also conjurations of previous unreality, I’ve taken a solemn oath on my slight and rasping self-respect to focus content on that oh so omnipotent socially excluding duo: films and videogames.
I’ve made a token gesture to such an enterprise in the past, by which I mean a few sporadic reviews of films I’ve seen over the last year. That’s right, it was over a year ago that I started this blog and despite the fact that I’ve not given it anywhere near the attention I should have (less than 10 posts…oops) it’s been surprisingly successful. Consequently, the times they are a’ changing. From now, I will no longer be Mr. Mclazyanddontupdate.
So the long and short of it is that I will summarize my year so far in two pictures. So I can, y'know, focus on that brand thing.
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| Me meeting my old friend Kermit while studying in Connecticut for 4 months earlier this year. Helluva guy. Massive drug problem though. |
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| Staring into the Turkish sunset pondering the wonders and intricacies of the Universe. There's roughly a billion photos of my five weeks in Bird-Land but this best represents the depth, complexity and darkness of the human soul. |
So that was a long-winded way of saying nothing in particular…yet another prevailing theme of our favourite intellectual dumping ground. So no testicle directed falcon-punches I’m sorry, or pictures of that epic battle with Mr. K. Kong (definitely happened, censored in the news).
But seeing as we’re not really talking about anything here, and that this post is supposed to represent some sort of change the reverberations of which will no doubt be apocalyptic, let’s have a little story-time.
Any film/videogame fan anywhere at any point in history ever will say that films/games have been a part of their life for as long as they can remember. Well…
My Dad was a videogames graphics artist when I was but a wee smidge of a human many moons ago, so videogames have quite literally been a part of life since I was first wrenched all fresh, jammy and screaming into the world, going so far as actively keeping me alive what with it being his job thingy. And there was no turning back from there. He had all the classics – NES, SNES, Master System and all that lovely stuff – so by the time the N64 rolled around in 1997 I was a thoroughbred Nintendo fan and proceeded to spend the majority of the rest of my life playing Mario 64 and Goldeneye. So, at the cost of my childhood and social development, when I say that videogames have always been a part of my life I mean it.
And you know what, I’m proud of that fact. While others were out ‘playing’ with fellow humans I was struggling to save Hyrule from the forces of darkness, classmates would go out climbing trees and exploring nature and all the wonderment therein whilst I was saving Princess Peach for the umpteenth time. While I understand that spending the majority of your developing years absorbed in fictional worlds isn’t particularly ‘healthy’, I still owe who I am today to these formative experiences. I learned right from wrong, became a hero alongside Link and all those spikey-haired Final Fantasy weirdos, learned time keeping and organisation (some of those boss fights were real ball aches) alongside much much more. And furthermore, at the end of the day, I still knew that none of this was real and didn’t become a mass-murdering psychopath trying to recreate what I saw on Grand Theft Auto one day. Because that’s just really really stupid so shut-up Daily Mail, shut-up your silly little bigoted mouth. Idiots.
‘But,’ I hear you cry in panic and disbelief, ‘you’ve not mentioned games on this site before you silly noodle!’ And that’s true but if you’d been listening (reading?) I will be in the future for God’s sake. Some people, honestly.
Films are not such a direct path. Everyone watches films, enjoys them and talks about them. So much so that to call yourself a film-buff is practically counter-productive. Simply put, unless you have some sort of professional position – reviewer, previewer etc – you just sound like a knob. So what in the name of Wumbo is a ‘buff’? Well it’s a ridiculous word for one. But more than that I think it’s a more polite term for obsessive. While I realize that isn’t going to be a popular notion, a film buff (or, because I ate the word, a film ‘ninja’) or a ninja of anything else for that matter, is simply obsessively attached to something.
Like every other person who lives in a house these days, I’ve always watched films. My attachment with them began with Jurassic Park because dinosaurs were, and always will be forever and ever amen, ridiculously cool. From there I got into sci-fi with Star Wars (obviously, gamer here) which eventually led to an all-encompassing geeky love of the Alienseries and other beasts of its ilk: creepy, gory, tense and generally a bit grim.
So why do I consider myself a film-ninja? For one, I’m a knob. But for another I got so drawn into Alien and its universe that I critically watched the series – repeatedly – wrote coursework on it, wrote fanscripts, wrote poems. Okay, not poems. But you get the point. My experience from watching Alien (and especially Aliens, my favourite, long live Jim Cameron) made me realize that, in an ideal magic world where dreams come true and everything is bright and rosy, I want to live my life among films. And because by then Hell will have long since frozen over, I could make Alien on Ice. Want more proof? I write reviews on the Internet for no reason other than I want to.
Now wasn’t that nice? Do you not feel closer to this obscure voice on the Internet? Good. I don’t mean to preach, only to illustrate that what I intend to write about I know about. And more importantly I’m passionate about. There’s far too much ego in the creative industries these days, both with films and - increasingly – games too. And this makes me sad. I’ve been labeled a nerd my entire life and I most definitely am. So for you splendid people out there who read this, I just want you to know where I’m coming from. I don’t write what I write because I think it’s cool or think that people want to read it. I write what I write because I’m a great big, honking nerd. Live long and prosper.
The most inspirational video you're ever likely to see. With enough belief and effort, you too will get the flip-flop of life my friends:
As a final note, please follow me on Twitter: @smariman. You'll get told of updates and new posts as soon as they happen as well as the odd desperate attempt at being funny, entertaining and likeable. Such is life.
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