As well reviews, opinions and all that mangled garbage, we’ll be starting a weekly ‘news’ post here at WiTATAS.
Why? Because I love you guys and informing you unfortunate lot of stuff you may or may not care about fills me with Christmas joy, regardless of the time of year.
Like with every other recurring segment-esque endeavor towards periodic pointlessness, this idea will likely go the miserable way of my mangled hopes and dreams sooner rather than later. So have no worry, friends.
But we’ll never know unless we try right? The selfsame message that took some human beings to the moon and others to a premature asphyxiated death in the quest for primal pleasure.
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| Some people see a prestigious award, others see a Dr. Who villain. |
SAG Awards Announced, Not Physically Discriminatory; Hollywood’s shiniest vote on the best acting talent of the year
January 27th saw the annual Screen Actors Guild Awards collate Hollywood’s finest word-speakers and face-movers together to celebrate the year’s best performances in TV and film.
Shirts were white and teeth were whiter as the award’s season continued its steady rise to the boiling point that is the Academy Awards due to take place at the end of February.
The guilds and their respective awards ceremonies – acting, directing, producing and writing - are normally very strong indicators of what to expect come Mr. Oscar’s big night. Some awards went as expected – Daniel Day-Lewis picking up his billionth Best Actor award and Anne Hathaway staying on form with another Best Supporting Actress gong – and there was a very popular win for everyone’s favourite drug-dealer Bryan Cranston.
Meanwhile however, Jennifer Lawrence’s Best Actress award has falconpunched Jessica Chastain’s Oscar chances and Tommy Lee-Jones Best Supporting Actor win has torn the category wide-open following Christoph Waltz success at the Golden Globes earlier in the month.
Elsewhere, 30 Rock signed off admirably with Best Actor and Actress awards for Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey respectively while there was British success for Downton Abbey in the labouriously verbose Oustanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series category.
The force is strong in this one; J. J. Abrams set for Star Warsdirecting gig
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| This isn't photoshop, it's a halo. |
It’s been the most coveted nugget of movie treasure ever since the announcement of a brand new Star Wars generation and finally the hunt is over. After months of speculation during which pretty much every director and their gran was at one point in the running, Mr. Sci-Fi himself J. J. Abrams has been unveiled as the new Rebel Leader of the timeless franchise.
In an era where even grammatical discrepancies can trigger a wrathful tsunami of abuse (long live the Internet) Abrams' appointment has been relatively…muted. Which roughly equates to frantic jubilation in the grander scheme of things.
He’s rarely put a foot wrong in his career and has proven beefy chops in the volatile ‘re-boot’ arena with the seminal Star Trek remake in 2009. Producing credits on Cloverfield and Lost (it was good once remember…a long time ago (in a galaxy far far away)) and the coming-of-age/sci-fi-explosiveness of Super 8 also bode well for the revival of that peerless Galaxy all the way over there somewhere.
He’s not one to shy away from a challenge and the potent mixture of his directorial dynamism and Michael Arndt’s writing wizardry (he conjured Toy Story 3) should give Star Wars the thorough dusting it needs after decades stuck in the dusty, shadowy crevices of George Lucas’s nightmarish folds.
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| Those aren't wrinkles, time is melting him. |
‘He’s back’, ‘Hasta la vista retirement’, ‘Put that movie down!’ (and so on ad nauseum): The Governator returns to the big-screen
January 24th saw the return of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s raggedy face to the big screen. Yes he may look like a piece of dried weathered leather stretched painfully across a lawnmower in these his twilight days, but there’s something a little big magical about an ‘Arnie Film.’
The Last Stand sees the Austrian-born behemoth playing a Sherriff who’s ‘old.’ ‘I’m old’ he says incase you didn’t realise that he’s old. He then proceeds to kill pretty much everything that has ever had the audacity to live in a final half hour that is so 80s numerous screenings from across the world have, for the first time, reported tangible evidence of actual temporal distortion. Patrons returned with perms and a renewed attitude for disco.
To be premiered on Oprah: Lance Armstrong set for the biopic treatment
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| Pictured: 7 of one thing and 2 of the other. He has neither. |
He’s a busy one is J. J. Abrams with it being further reported this week, although ‘tentatively rumoured’ may be more accurate here, that he’s picked up the rights to Juliet Macur’s book Cycle of Lies: The Fall of Lance Armstrong.
That’s pretty much it really. It was inevitable that Armstrong’s truly incredibly (note: unmatchable) fall from grace was destined for immortalization upon good ol’ shiny celluloid, but quite what shape the film will take is still completely up in the ether. Abrams is a famously tight-lipped man too so details are likely to be as scant as Armstrong’s remaining dignity for a fair while yet.
One thing’s for certain: the film will be akin to a public stocking.
Marvel’s Magical Spinning Plates; Ant Man and Dr. Strange already penciled in to kick off ‘Phase 3’ of Marvel’s world domination plans
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| This is what happens when you don't pay attention to your teenage son. |
While the entire system may sound as malevolent as Loki himself, Marvels ‘Phase 1’ was an unmitigated success, culminating with the titanic Avengerslast year.
Though ‘Phase 2’ may not have even started yet (Iron Man 3, Thor 2) that hasn’t stopped Marvel from seeing those juicy dollar signs and proclaiming the genesis of the next. Edgar Wright’s previously announced Ant Man (set for a 2015 release) has been announced by Marvel supremo Kevin Feige as the instigator for ‘Phase 3,’ which will presumably follow tradition and conclude with Avengers 3.
Further to this, a Dr. Strange film was cautiously alluded to which will, presumably, rub shoulders with further iterations in the Iron Man, Captain America and Thorfranchises. Whether the rumoured Black Widow/Hawkeye film will find it’s home in ‘Phase 2’ or ‘3’ – or even exist at all! – is still unclear.
For more Marvel news sit through the credits of the upcoming film of your choice. Then tut frustratedly on the Internet
The unabridged guide to life:
As a final note, please follow me on Twitter: @smariman. You'll get told of updates and new posts as soon as they happen as well as the odd desperate attempt at being funny, entertaining and likeable. Such is life.
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