Movie News #1: Awards, Abrams, Arnie, Armstrong and Ant-Man

As well reviews, opinions and all that mangled garbage, we’ll be starting a weekly ‘news’ post here at WiTATAS.

Why? Because I love you guys and informing you unfortunate lot of stuff you may or may not care about fills me with Christmas joy, regardless of the time of year.

Like with every other recurring segment-esque endeavor towards periodic pointlessness, this idea will likely go the miserable way of my mangled hopes and dreams sooner rather than later. So have no worry, friends.

But we’ll never know unless we try right? The selfsame message that took some human beings to the moon and others to a premature asphyxiated death in the quest for primal pleasure.

Some people see a prestigious award, others see a Dr. Who villain.

SAG Awards Announced, Not Physically Discriminatory; Hollywood’s shiniest vote on the best acting talent of the year

January 27^th saw the annual Screen Actors Guild Awards collate Hollywood’s finest word-speakers and face-movers together to celebrate the year’s best performances in TV and film.

Shirts were white and teeth were whiter as the award’s season continued its steady rise to the boiling point that is the Academy Awards due to take place at the end of February.

The guilds and their respective awards ceremonies – acting, directing, producing and writing - are normally very strong indicators of what to expect come Mr. Oscar’s big night. Some awards went as expected – Daniel Day-Lewis picking up his billionth Best Actor award and Anne Hathaway staying on form with another Best Supporting Actress gong – and there was a very popular win for everyone’s favourite drug-dealer Bryan Cranston.

Meanwhile however, Jennifer Lawrence’s Best Actress award has falconpunched Jessica Chastain’s Oscar chances and Tommy Lee-Jones Best Supporting Actor win has torn the category wide-open following Christoph Waltz success at the Golden Globes earlier in the month.

Elsewhere, 30 Rock signed off admirably with Best Actor and Actress awards for Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey respectively while there was British success for Downton Abbey in the labouriously verbose Oustanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series category.

The force is strong in this one; J. J.  Abrams set for Star Warsdirecting gig

This isn't photoshop, it's a halo.

It’s been the most coveted nugget of movie treasure ever since the announcement of a brand new Star Wars generation and finally the hunt is over. After months of speculation during which pretty much every director and their gran was at one point in the running, Mr. Sci-Fi himself J. J. Abrams has been unveiled as the new Rebel Leader of the timeless franchise.

In an era where even grammatical discrepancies can trigger a wrathful tsunami of abuse (long live the Internet) Abrams' appointment has been relatively…muted. Which roughly equates to frantic jubilation in the grander scheme of things.

He’s rarely put a foot wrong in his career and has proven beefy chops in the volatile ‘re-boot’ arena with the seminal Star Trek remake in 2009. Producing credits on Cloverfield and Lost (it was good once remember…a long time ago (in a galaxy far far away)) and the coming-of-age/sci-fi-explosiveness of Super 8 also bode well for the revival of that peerless Galaxy all the way over there somewhere.

He’s not one to shy away from a challenge and the potent mixture of his directorial dynamism and Michael Arndt’s writing wizardry (he conjured Toy Story 3) should give Star Wars the thorough dusting it needs after decades stuck in the dusty, shadowy crevices of George Lucas’s nightmarish folds.

Those aren't wrinkles, time
is melting him.

‘He’s back’, ‘Hasta la vista retirement’, ‘Put that movie down!’ (and so on ad nauseum): The Governator returns to the big-screen

January 24^th saw the return of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s raggedy face to the big screen. Yes he may look like a piece of dried weathered leather stretched painfully across a lawnmower in these his twilight days, but there’s something a little big magical about an ‘Arnie Film.’

The Last Stand sees the Austrian-born behemoth playing a Sherriff who’s ‘old.’ ‘I’m old’ he says incase you didn’t realise that he’s old. He then proceeds to kill pretty much everything that has ever had the audacity to live in a final half hour that is so 80s numerous screenings from across the world have, for the first time, reported tangible evidence of actual temporal distortion. Patrons returned with perms and a renewed attitude for disco.

To be premiered on Oprah: Lance Armstrong set for the biopic treatment

Pictured: 7 of one thing and 2 of the other. He has neither.

He’s a busy one is J. J. Abrams with it being further reported this week, although ‘tentatively rumoured’ may be more accurate here, that he’s picked up the rights to Juliet Macur’s book Cycle of Lies: The Fall of Lance Armstrong.

That’s pretty much it really. It was inevitable that Armstrong’s truly incredibly (note: unmatchable) fall from grace was destined for immortalization upon good ol’ shiny celluloid, but quite what shape the film will take is still completely up in the ether. Abrams is a famously tight-lipped man too so details are likely to be as scant as Armstrong’s remaining dignity for a fair while yet.

One thing’s for certain: the film will be akin to a public stocking.

Marvel’s Magical Spinning Plates; Ant Man and Dr. Strange already penciled in to kick off ‘Phase 3’ of Marvel’s world domination plans

This is what happens when you don't
pay attention to your teenage son.

While the entire system may sound as malevolent as Loki himself, Marvels ‘Phase 1’ was an unmitigated success, culminating with the titanic Avengerslast year.

Though ‘Phase 2’ may not have even started yet (Iron Man 3, Thor 2) that hasn’t stopped Marvel from seeing those juicy dollar signs and proclaiming the genesis of the next. Edgar Wright’s previously announced Ant Man (set for a 2015 release) has been announced by Marvel supremo Kevin Feige as the instigator for ‘Phase 3,’ which will presumably follow tradition and conclude with Avengers 3.

Further to this, a Dr. Strange film was cautiously alluded to which will, presumably, rub shoulders with further iterations in the Iron Man, Captain America and Thorfranchises. Whether the rumoured Black Widow/Hawkeye film will find it’s home in ‘Phase 2’ or ‘3’ – or even exist at all! – is still unclear.

For more Marvel news sit through the credits of the upcoming film of your choice. Then tut frustratedly on the Internet

The unabridged guide to life:

As a final note, please follow me on Twitter: @smariman. You'll get told of updates and new posts as soon as they happen as well as the odd desperate attempt at being funny, entertaining and likeable. Such is life.

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Django Unchained Review - OR - Quentin Tarantino's Western Funk Party

Plot

It’s 1858 and America is on the brink of civil war. On a fortuitous evening, enslaved Django (Jamie Foxx) is freed by loquacious bounty hunter Dr. King Schultz (Christoph Waltz) to help him in the hunt for the Brittle Brothers, Django’s former enslavers. After a swift vengeful retribution, Schultz takes Django on as a partner in exchange for helping him free his wife Broomhilda (Kerry Washington), who has been sold to ruthless plantation owner Calvin Candie (Leonardo DiCaprio).

That Upper Decker didn't go down as well as they hoped.

Review

‘Quentin doesn’t make films, he makes movies’ said Samuel L. Jackson in a recent interview, the apparent difference being a juxtaposing emphasis on either arty seriousness or fun. And he couldn’t be more right.

Quentin Tarantino is not a man prone to fear. He makes what he wants to make, what he likes to make, and if you don’t agree with it…well, he’ll shut your but down. He’s also not a man prone to the constrictions of that little thing called ‘history.’

Inglorious Basterds offered QT’s characteristically brutal, hilarious and raucous cinematic persona plastered throughout a fictional retelling of WW2 and inversion finds itself in the crosshairs of Django Unchained. Although the bounty doesn’t so much come from historical shenanigans than it does ‘Hollywood convention.’

'You will NEVER guess where I got
this from.'

Django has had a big marketing push (naturally so for an Oscar contender) much of which has been predicated on its treatment of slavery. Now this isn’t to say that Django is some epic dramatic cataclysm of a tear-trip á la Lincoln, far from it. It’s a frenetic, gloriously violent, hopelessly idiotic, undeniably cool thunderslap of an experience. Albeit one that tackles slavery with an attitude of visceral brutality hitherto unknown within Hollywood circles. Lashings, lynchings, the hot-box, ruthless Mandingo fights: it pulls no punches in an effort to emphatically state ‘hey, all that slavery s**t that went down, it was actually pretty goddamn horrendous.’ An obvious statement perhaps. But for all of the bloody battles strewn liberally throughout American history and celebrated on shiny celluloid, slavery is not one of them. It’s been, oddly enough, almost entirely ignored.

And then QT happened. And now we’ve got a film that not only illustrates the whole horrifying nightmare with graphical intensity, but one that actual utilises it as a narrative framework. It’s a technique that works admirably within Django, the omnipresent blind antagonism towards and ferocious treatment of black people empowering and constructing the eponymous hero’s bloodthirsty quest for righteous vengeance. Forget the masterly script and fantastically imagined characters: it’s the simplistic care and clear passion towards context and historical source that justifies Django’s narrative credentials.

However, such a commitment to genuinely gritty and (shockingly!) realistic violence jars unsettlingly with those other QT staples: buckets of crimson and the blackest of comedy. Outside of torture scenes violence comes in classically QT sized quantities, namely vats upon vats of the gooey red-stuff. And while the ridiculousness of a goon’s multi-blasted derriere vomiting geysers of sludgy crimson doesn’t actively impose upon Django’s more discomforting scenes, it could quite easily perturb the experience for some.

Were this film made by a director without the passion for cinema and eye for entertainment that Tarantino wields, this could have been a film-breaking issue. But, fortunately, it wasn’t and Django Unchained remains all kinds of rampant, old-fashioned, fun. Sight gags? It’s got that. Moronic pre-KKK group of hopeless sack-heads? It’s got that. Erroneous bunch of baffling Australian bandits? It’s got that. The music too is brilliantly ridiculous - alternating from archetypal country crooners to rap tracks – and, maybe apart from the Grinch and Tommy Lee Jones, it won’t fail in raising a smile. It is, in a word, undeniably badass.

This years 'look the most murderous' competition is off to
a strong start.

Like with the rest of QT’s (largely) exceptional back-catalogue, it is the cast that gallops most confidently here (apologies for these Western puns, they’re neigh-on irresistible). Christoph Waltz is electric and infallibly engaging as the mentorly Schultz, perfectly transposing the eloquent charming verbosity of his previous QT performance Hans Landa. Everything from vocal inflection to nuanced mannerism (never has there been a cooler moustache twirl in cinema) screams individuality, an authenticity of character lucidly conceived and expertly transmitted. Leonardo DiCaprio – for the first time filling the villain’s shoes – skillfully conflates sinister ferocity and childish pomposity, an infantile Francophile caught in the gravity of an explosive power-trip. Kudos too, to Samuel L. Jackson – also playing against type in a villainous role – who, as the head slave Stephen, is similarly despicable, all bulging eyes and detestable sycophancy, albeit with an obligatory dash of coolness.

It’s something of a shame then that the sheer strength of the supporting cast highlights the deficiencies of the leading pair. Or, rather, singular. Kerry Washington’s Broomhilda, while an effective vessel for the brutality of slavery, unfortunately doesn’t progress much further than an ‘enabler,’ a veritable human MacGuffin for the valiant hero to fight for. That there being the problem. Django himself (Jamie Foxx) while a likeable hero in his own right, falls far short of the benchmark set by Waltz and DiCaprio, feeling surprisingly one-dimensional and simply lacking the strength of his peers. Ultimately, it is the one-note love-story between this Westernised Broomhilda and Siegfried that most disappoints. 

One of the major critiques leveled at Django has been its surprisingly long running time and yet, while some scenes could easily be cut to zero narrative detriment, everything seems to work. It is a master class in pacing, mixing ambling scenes of gripping dialogue with the darkest of humour. Action climaxes escalate and populate the running time in a way that feels organic. Films that push the three-hour boundary won’t be to everyone’s taste and could lead to some severe cases of numbbumitis, but if you can give yourself over to world QT has created, it will fly by. Fortunately then, Django is absolutely gorgeous. From sweeping sweltering rocky outcrops to wintery vistas, it is an aesthetic joy as well as a visceral one.

What you can't see in this picture are the skateboards. 

Verdict

Django Unchained is an unabashed achievement in balls-to-the-wall cinematic entertainment. It never takes itself too seriously and yet still manages to engage in an historical dialogue far too often ignored. Hilarious, unsettling, with characters that will live long in the memory, it is a Jackson-defined ‘movie’ through and through and never pretends to be anything else. With all the heavy-duty dramatic dramary drama that comes hand-in-hand with Oscar season, Djangois a welcome oasis of that one thing more movies should hope to be: entertaining.

5/5

Have a mosey at this here trailer, it be darn tootin':

As a final note, please follow me on Twitter: @smariman. You'll get told of updates and new posts as soon as they happen as well as the odd desperate attempt at being funny, entertaining and likeable. Such is life.

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The Oscars 2013 - OR - Life Of Lincoln's Unchained Misérables Playbook

The Oscars are a pretty big thing. You might have heard of them. They’re some kind of movie award or something that everybody loves to mock and yet takes incredibly seriously anyway.

Such is life.

The nominations for 2013 were unveiled a couple of days ago to the standard symphony of cynical murmurs, heated discussion by self-titled buffs on the Internets (note: I heartily include myself in that category, I take nothing that I write seriously. Have no fear.) and a sprinkling of mandatory controversy by this year’s host Seth Macfarlane. Apparently, Hitler jokes still aren’t cool to those ultra-hip whiter-than-white centenarians fused to the Academy’s voting list.

So, for the three people who haven’t seen the nominations (and actually care about it, if only a little bit) have no fear! Look at the lists below with your eyes and process them with the bits of your brain that do eye stuff. Or just read them:

After winning the lottery, the Terminator got all...indulgent,

(NOTE: There are a lot of awards. Now I legitimately do not want to inadvertently insult any specific award - films are constructed of far more than pretty music and pretty actors - but for the sake of space and time only the traditionally ‘bigger’ awards will be listed. For a full list of all the nominees click here.)

Best Picture
:              Amour
                      Beasts Of The Southern Wild
             
                                    Argo
                         Les Misérables
          
                                    Life Of Pi        
         Silver Linings Playbook


                                    Zero Dark Thirty
      Django Unchained

                                    Lincoln


Best Director:              Steven Spielberg
- Lincoln
                                      Ang Lee
- Life of Pi 
                                      
Benh Zeitlin – Beasts of the Southern Wild         
                                      David O. Russell
- Silver Linings Playbook
                                      Michael Haneke - Amour 

Best Actor:
                 Denzel Washington - Flight

                                    Bradley Cooper - Silver Linings Playbook

                                    Daniel Day-Lewis - Lincoln

                                    Hugh Jackman - Les Misérables

                                    Joaquin Phoenix - The Master

Best Actress:                        Emmanuelle Riva - Amour
                                                Jennifer Lawrence - Silver Linings Playbook
                                                Jessica Chastain - Zero Dark Thirty
                                                Naomi Watts - The Impossible                                                Quvenzhané Wallis - Beasts Of The Southern Wild


Best Supporting Actor:
        Alan Arkin - Argo

                                                Christoph Waltz - Django Unchained

                                                Robert De Niro - Silver Linings Playbook

                                                Philip Seymour Hoffman - The Master

                                                Tommy Lee Jones - Lincoln

Best Supporting Actress: 
    Jacky Weaver - Silver Linings Playbook
                                                Anne Hathaway - Les Misérables

                                                Helen Hunt - The Sessions

                                                Sally Field - Lincoln

                                                Amy Adams - The Master


Best Animated Film:             Paranorman


                                                Frankenweenie

                                                Brave
                                                The Pirates! In An Adventure With Scientists

                                                Wreck-it-Ralph

Best Adapted Screenplay: 
               Chris Terrio - Argo

                                                            Lucy Alibar, Benh Zeitlin - Beasts Of The Southern Wild                                                                  
                                                            David Magee - Life Of Pi

                                                            Tony Kushner - Lincoln

                                                            David O. Russell - Silver Linings Playbook

Best Original Screenplay:  
  Michael Haneke - Amour

                                                Quentin Tarantino - Django Unchained

                                                Wes Anderson, Roman Coppola - Moonrise Kingdom

                                                Mark Boal - Zero Dark Thirty

                                                John Gatins - Flight

Best Film Editing:                William Goldenberg
- Argo
                                                Tim Squyres
- Life of Pi
                                                Dylan Tichenor, William Goldberg – Zero Dark Thirty
                                                Michael Kahn
- Lincoln
                                                Jay Cassidy & Crispin Struthers – Silver Linings Playbook                                                   

So what do we think? Interested, outraged, bemused, confused, apathetic, lethargic, psychotic? Any predictions on the outcome? It’d be wonderful to hear people’s opinions so go on, let us know! You see that comment box down there? You can write in that. It’s wicked cool, give it a try. It won't much hurt I promise.

To add fuel to the fire, here are my malformed musings:

 100 years later and he still couldn't remember where his keys were.

Overall, this is the most progressive list of nominations the Academy has coughed up in a while. There’s the standard Oscar-friendly fair (Lincolnand its 12 noms) but there’s also an awful lot of variability, with some very creative and undeniably small-scale films getting some loving attention. No-one saw Beasts of the Southern Wild getting quite so much appraisal despite its Palm D’or success earlier in the year and the attention given to other somewhat oddball productions – Silver Linings, Django – is something we call feel very positive about. Ben Affleck will justifiably feel a bit sick after the Best Director snub which seriously harms Argo’s Best Picture chances but its attention is still something to cheer. Furthermore, Amour’s utterly remarkable success follows nicely on the coattails of The Artist (European Revolution in Hollywood?) and the support for Life of Pi is reassuring: its uber-spiritual subtext practically makes love to the Academy’s senisiblities; its action packed effects-focused beauty…not so much. The total disregard for The Dark Knight Rises and Avenger’s Assemble, while as surprising as white on paper, is testament to the Academy’s aversion to most things modern.

None of this will matter of course as Lincoln goes on to win absolutely everything. Including four Grammies and a Tony because Prez Lincoln is big like that.

Making predictions is historically pointless before some of the smaller award’s ceremonies have their time in the limelight (which The Oscar’s will then copy with slightly more bombastic interlude music.) But what is life without a bit of fun, a bit of a gamble?

Below are my provisional predications based off little more than total conjecture and warm feelings in my special parts. Meaning my heart and brain obviously. Sickos.

'No matter what you do, no matter how you do it, I will always matter more than you.'

Best Picture: Lincoln

Nine Best Picture nominations this time and the whole ‘hey guys, let’s do more than five nominations to look all cool and generous’ thing continues to feel pointless. Very rarely does the Best Picture go to a different film than Best Director (last time was Crash (2004)) and even more rarely is a Best Picture winner not nominated for Best Editing (last time that happened was around 30 years ago). Keeping all this in mind we’re left with three options: Life of Pi, Silver Linings Playbook and Lincoln. Of those three, there’s a definite Academy-loving frontrunner…

It’s Lincoln, Daniel-Day Lewis and Steven Spielberg all mixed in one ultra emotional pot. If the Academy voters weren’t so against sexual joviality, that’d definitely be one threesome they’d pay to watch.

Quick Note: Argo is a definite dark horse. Or maybe even kinda dark grey horse. It’s performed strongly in the early awards season and it’s Best Editing nomination bodes well. Affleck’s omission is the issue however.

Best Director: Lincoln – Steven Spielberg

A bit more open this one but following the genius algorithm outlined above it is again down to just three films: Ang Lee and Life of Pi, Steven Spielberg and Lincoln, David O. Russell and Silver Linings. Very very rarely will the Academy put an effects heavy director in front of Mr. Political Message (Or Mrs., of course, the Hurt Locker Vs. Avatarbattle perhaps the best example here) and Silver Linings may be just a tad too ‘quirky’.

Spielberg will reign supreme again.

Best Actor: Daniel-Day Lewis – Lincoln

Now we’re into complete conjecture territory. Hugh Jackman, though commendable in Les Miz, arguably hasn’t got enough of a presence in his own film to be seriously considered while Bradley Cooper suffers from the sheer strength of the competition and his virginal experience in the field. Joachim Pheonix could definitely be something of a dark horse but The Master’s mixed reception could be its downfall. So we’re left with a face-off between Washington and Lewis – both two-time winners previously – which would be exciting.

As it stands, Lewis is arguably the front-runner based on Lincoln’s momentum. It’s his to lose.


Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz – Django Unchained 

All of these guys have won before and this is a hugely open category. Honestly, any of them could win it. I adored Silver Linings Playbook and would love to see it pick up some gongs, that De Niro was excellent is useful too. Tommy Lee-Jones may benefit from Lincoln’s Academy friendliness but, as it stands, I’ll support Waltz based purely on the fact that he’s cooler than a frozen cucumber on Pluto. Wearing sunglasses. Naturally.

Just look at this sexy sonofabitch, his beard is better than your entire being.

Best Actress: Jessica Chastain – Zero Dark Thirty

What a great category! With both the oldest and youngest nominations in The Oscar’s history and general quality all around this year’s Best Actress nominations are something to feel positive about indeed. Another one almost impossible to call this early on but I’ll lump for Chastain based on the initial positivity and buzz regarding her performance. Personally, I’d love it to go to Jennifer Lawrence (already on her second nomination at just 23!) but she’s a tad young.

Best Supporting Actress: Anne Hathaway – Les Misérables

It’s hers, simple as that. She’s incredible. Only actually in the film for less than a third of its running time but…yeah, wow. Debate over.

Best Animated Film: Brave

Throw a dart. It’s your best chance here. I haven’t actually – sadly - seen any of the nominations but based on its pure beauty and the relative niche-ness of the other nominations (Video Games? Urgh!) I’d bet a penny on Brave. It’s Pixar too, who doesn’t love those guys?

Best Adapted Screenplay: Tony Kushner - Lincoln

It’s another academy rarity that the Best Picture winner doesn’t win in its respective writing category (which is normally Adapted Screenplay because no originality herpity derp). Seeing as, at least so far as I’m concerned, Lincolnseems poised to perform strongest, I’ll lump for it again here. Total guess though, this one is very much open (outside of Life of Pi, it’s a great movie and a great adaptation but no movie that effects-heavy will be picking up a writing credit any time soon).

Best Original Screenplay: Quentin Tarantino – Django Unchained

Moonrise Kingdom could definitely pop up for an anomalous win here but I’d argue that the ball is in Quentin Tarantio’s court. If the Academy decide to give Amour anything it’ll be an all or nothing deal and Zero Dark Thirty’s prospects look ill following Katheryn Bigelow’s omission from the Best Director race. Flight, well, who knows. But I’d argue for a toss-up between Moonrise Kingdom and Django Unchained, with QT’s Oscar previous helping him out here.

Best Film Editing: Michael Kahn
- Lincoln

To win Best Picture you have to be at least nominated for Best Editing, you don’t necessarily have to win it. As it stands it could go anywhere: effects heavy films naturally need spectacular editing, especially so in Life of Pi’s case and it’s mixture of green-screen and hard-graft, and all of the others are duking it out on fairly similar territory. Based purely on my other predications I’ll go for Lincoln  for now, but that may very well change.                                              

'Oscars? I can't chew that.'

So there you go, what did you think? Agree? Disagree? Think I’m talking out of my arse? It’s more than likely to be fair.

As I said, these are all almost entirely based on conjecture, guesswork and coin flipping. I may have another crack at predicting closer to the date when we have a better idea of who’s winning elsewhere, but only if you’re lucky mind. And eat your greens.

*          *         *

As a final note, please follow me on Twitter: @smariman. You'll get told of updates and new posts as soon as they happen as well as the odd desperate attempt at being funny, entertaining and likeable. Such is life.

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