Plot
Don (Robert De Niro) and Ellie (Diane Keaton) are a long-divorced couple brought back into each other’s company by their adopted son Alejandro’s (Ben Barnes) wedding to girlfriend Missy (Amanda Seyfried). However, Alejandro’s biological mother Madonna (Patricia Mae) – a devout Catholic – is flying in for the ceremony, meaning that Don and Ellie are forced to act like a married couple again to the ire of Don’s partner Bebe (Susan Sarandon). Can the dysfunctional family hold it together across the weekend?
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| For every smile that's genuine, I'll eat a groat. |
Review
Every now and then, a film comes along that is a very much a ‘cast’ film; the abundance of acting superstars, both young and old, is the film. Everything else is pretty much secondary. The Big Weddingis one such smorgasbord of illustrious names, this time tackling one of cinema’s favourite farces: weddings.
The Big Wedding is an injustice to good name of ‘farce.’
While it’s always pleasant to see older actors billed above their younger – sometimes equally famous – colleagues, something went drastically wrong with The Big Wedding. The cast is of imperious prestige and of such unrepentant ability that they had no right to be anything other than peerlessly brilliant, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Like mushy fodder Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve before it, Big Weddingdoesn’t give it’s constituent parts any chance to breathe, instead leaving them gasping for air all piled up and disordered in the sexually frustrated corner.
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| It's not often you see a jazzy hobo for entertainment. The wedding had obvious budget issues. |
It says a lot that Big Wedding advertises itself on having an ‘all-star cast.’ That’s the same as a film advertising itself as having ‘an ending.’ It isn’t a success or an accomplishment; it’s just a thing that the film has. Its value derives from how it’s used, and Big Weddinguses its cast to scrub away the skid-marks off of the toilet bowl.
Ben Barnes – continuing his reputation as a plague upon anything he might work in – is cast as a Columbian (seriously), Robert De Niro seems legitimately drunk for the entire affair and Diane Keaton spirals ever closer to self-parody while the numerous children add up to create maybe a half of one actual character.
So many of the characters fee so woefully pointless that they’re almost sympathetic. Take Topher Grace’s Jared for example, whose entire characterisation and story arc is ‘he’s thirty and hasn’t had sex yet.’…Right. There are no reasons given - outside of a vague and ultimately empty flap at 'true love' - no twists, no intrigue, no justification and there is ultimately no point except to leer garrulously at Ana Ayora’s naked body for a couple of seconds. And yet, he’s one of the few likeable characters. It’s almost as though he was thrown into the film at the last second purely so that the much-marketed cast wouldn’t plummet and burn in a repugnant plane crash.
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| This here be Jared, languishing in the warmths of success after another footsie victory. |
Like It’s Complicated and Hope Springs, Big Wedding isn’t coy when it comes to sex, no matter what the age. The greater chunk of the ‘comedy’, if it’s okay to use that word, on offer is of a sexual nature, so it’s not likely to appeal to people of a more prudish sensibility. Or much of anyone else as it turns out.
However, The Big Wedding seems to think that with enough swear words – including the c-word those dirty dogs! – and hackneyed sex references comes success. All of the humour, outside of the little racist garnish dotted around the edges for absolutely no reason, is of a sexual nature. And almost none of it is good. If the punch line isn’t ‘hey look, they’re old people having/talking about sex, the hell is up with that right??’ it’s a wearying, cringe-worthy Carry-On styled wink-wink-nudge-nudge referencing the likes of which you could swear died out thirty years ago. Whereas the likes of It’s Complicated followed a similar topic of sex in later life, it did so with more nuance, care and comedy than Big Wedding could ever dream of.
Though some of it does work - particularly in regards to the criminally underused Father Moinighan (Robin Williams) who brings home the biggest laughs (note: only) – the writing is largely a joke. For writer/director Justin Zackham’s sake it has to be hoped that he asked his pubescent son to scribble the script for him, the sort of kid who recently discovered the word ‘f**k’ is and that sex is a thing that people can do sometimes if they like. And that it’s also hilarious.
Directionless, disordered, bereft of humour and utterly misguided: ladies and gentlemen, behold the big comedy of Summer 2013.
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| Unbeknownst to Dave, his 'fake-telephone-act' stopped being funny 20 years ago. |
Verdict
A perplexing, aimless, pointless mess. A cast movie that does nobody involved any favours except to bulk up their bank balance. It does end in less than 90 minutes though, so it’s got that string to its bow.
1/5
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